How to describe your best friend in funny way?

Question: How to describe your best friend in funny way?

Best friend is a true friend stands up for you. When others try to hurt you emotionally or physically they do everything they can to make sure you stay safe. Best friends are familiar and liking of each others mind. People who are friends talk to each other and spend time  together. The four stages are: 1.Acquaintance. 2. Peer friend. 3.  Close Friend. 4.  Best friend. They trust one another and also help each other when they are in trouble or are hurt . Friends are people that can be looked up to and trusted.